So generally people talk about 'the one that got away', that person who they could imagine living the rest of their lives with but never came close to actually doing it. Well, for me on the other hand, it's the ambition that got away. I, up till matriculation (pre-university), had always been a science student; pure science. I thrived in Chemistry and Biology and struggled with Physics. But when I entered matriculation, I gave up. I hated the place, the people and the instructors. I looked, talked perhaps even acted differently from the majority of the students there.
My mother insisted upon me not going to a co-ed school. As a result I went to a Convent school in Penang, Malaysia. On the outside, we all wear the same uniforms with the rest of the country, but there is always a defining factor that sets Convent girls apart. We don't do it on purpose, mind you, it just happens. Even though we were supposed to learn all our subject in Bahasa Malaysia (our national language), in my school it was always a jumble of both English and Bahasa Malaysia. I suppose that set me apart from a lot of people, but due to the mistreatment I was getting, I sort of let go of my education. I was majoring in Physics and Chemistry, loved one and hated the other. I survived the year with a measly 2.18CGPA. I told my dad that today and he had the schock of his life.
The daughter who had always had a 3.5CGPA average throughout her undergrad years barely passed matriculation. I skipped classes, preferring to sleep in rather than looking at my instructors faces. Hide out in my room rather than making friends with classmates. However, I should have known that these actions of mine would always leave lingering feelings of guilt because secretly I have always wanted to be a doctor of medicine.
I know, its a total cliche, young Asian girl wants to be a doctor, *yawn*. But for me, it was the ambition, the dream that got away. Instead of fighting back harder, I gave up and gave in to all the obstacles and said, 'Screw it!'. Alternatively I choose arts. I know we cannot compare two completely different genres and say that one is easier over the other, that is just impossible. Literature is and can be as mind boggling as medicine, engineering and even management. Lucky for me, literature was another passion of mine. But whenever I see someone I know from high school who is a doctor now, I can't help but feel a prick of regret. Even with completely random doctors, I feel that twinge.
Hopefully, one day I can fulfill my dream of having the initials 'Dr.' in front of my name. Not a doctor of medicine, but a doctor of philosophy perhaps. That couldn't hurt could it? How about you, the dream that got away? If you have stuck to your dream thus far, congratulations! I hope you keep a stronghold on it!