*Okay, I know that I have been really really absent from the blogosphere, but just bear with me. So this is a lil' somethin', somethin' written by our sneaky, sarcastic and pervy little intern! Although honestly, beneath all that; he's a pretty good kid!*
Every relationship is governed by a set of rules. And every set of rules tends to have its own fair share of punishments. More specifically, a demerit system. When I drew up this demerit system, I got plenty of feedback from most of my female friends, mostly ‘We’re not like that’ or ‘I HATE YOUR GUTS!’ My male friends just nod and smile cryptically.
Without further ado, I present to you the
Demerit System In Relationships (For Females).
Dressing• Dress provocatively. (-10)
• It's showing cleavage. (-20)
• Lots and lots of cleavage. (-50)
• And your skirt is short. (-10)
• Almost like you're not wearing a skirt. (-50)
• You're at home alone with him. (+1000)
Dining• You order in moderation. (+10)
• You chide him because he ordered a feast. (-10)
• Which doesn't have Caesar salad. (-20)
• You berate him about the unhealthiness of eating meat. (-20)
• And impose the positives of vegetables. (-50)
• You sound like his mother. (-30)
• You slap him for pointing it out. (-100)
• You give him a make-up kiss. (+1000)
• SEXY TIME. (+100000000000000)
Spending time at home• You scold him for lying on the couch the whole day. (-10)
• You scold him for playing Xbox all day. (-20)
• You nag constantly. (-20)
• You yell periodically. (-20)
• You angrily spill his drink. (-40)
• You grab his Xbox and destroy it with a hammer. (depends on what game he was playing and how much of the game he has completed)(between -100 and -10000000)
Spending time at the mall• You jump into every single shop. (-10)
• You buy something from every single shop you jump into. (-20)
• With his money. (-50)
His birthday• You get him a gift. (+30)
• Which you have spent so much time on. (+40)
• You don't fail to remind him about it. (-10)
• And you bring it up during future arguments. (-500)
Meeting his friends• You wave and say Hi. (+30)
• And proceed to let loose his secrets. (-50)
• Which include that time he embarrassed himself in public. (-50)
• It draws laughter. (-30)
• His friends repeat it at a future outing. (-100)
Meeting your friends• You show jealousy when he talks to your friend. (-10)
• Who is a model. (+30)
• Working for Victoria Secret. (+50)
• And is featured in FHM, Playboy and a host of other magazines. (+100)
• You nag at him afterwards. (-50)
His Physique• You point out that he's getting fat. (-30)
• You blame it on Modern Warfare Black Ops. (-50)
• You ask him to exercise. (-10)
• You point out that he is getting fat, and he says 'Yeah? You too.' (+100)
• You kill him for that. (-100)
During an argument•You start an argument with him (-10)
•About which football team is the best. (-30)
•And you slam his favorite team as an 'underachieving, sloppy bunch of kids'. (-50)
•You wrap up by crying uncontrollably, preventing him from further 'discussion'. (-100)
Hope that helps a lot.
Cheerios
*Hope it was a good read. If you've enjoyed reading the above post, do check out his blog here*♥♥♥
