November 1, 2014

Establishing Breastfeeding When Your Newbown Is In The Hospital (Part1)

As promised, this is my vlog on my breastfeeding experience with my little girl, Zia. I have decided to split the videos into three parts so that it's not TOO long. As it is, it's already almost 10 minutes and I edited a whole lot of things out. Oh well, I guess that calls for another video! ;)

Also, sorry my dears, for the not so great quality of the video. I promise the next ones will be back to the usual, pretty awesome, quality!

Hope this video, helps those of you who are planning on breastfeeding. 

Any feedback, suggestions and constructive criticism are welcomed. 

You can subscribe to my YouTube channel here:


p/s: That is a picture that I took of Google. Link here:

October 30, 2014

Was It Racism Or Was It My Imagination?

So after weeks of being a lazy arse, today I bundled up a cranky baby (erm, should I be calling her a toddler now?!) and headed out to the library near my place. Now this isn't the usual baby group session that I attend with Z, which is at a different library. But with the weather being what it is, I have missed a few sessions and today I started feeling restless. 

When we got to the library it was still quite empty so Z and I sat down near some shelves (so that tired Mama can lean on the shelves) and Z although a bit reserved at first, started getting comfortable. Slowly the room started filling up and, a lady in a purple T-shirt started saying 'Hi' to the others. She walked around taking the names of the children for the 'Hello Song'.

Now, when she got to me she barely looked at me and quickly scribbled down Z's name without even sparing Z a glance. And when she went to the lady seated next to me (it was her first time at that particular session too) that lady in purple, was really nice to her; even going to the lengths of introducing herself and all. 

Imagine in a room full of Caucasians, ang mohs, gores; whatever you want to call them, I was the only one who was so obviously Asian, and also the only one so very obviously Muslim. I really found the whole behaviour odd as I have always met people who were really kind and friendly towards us. This lady didn't even smile at Z (ignored her in fact), when Z toddled up to her while they were singing the nursery rhymes.

Obviously, I felt a bit put off by the whole session regardless of the other Mamas being quite friendly. I was telling husband about my experience and obviously he responded with the classic, 'you are probably overthinking and oversensitive'. 

Well, given the fact that 99% of the people that we have met here have been really friendly and accommodating, Mr. Husband might just be right. Although, to be sure of it, I am going to drag my arse out again next week to this particular class without caring about the rain or the wind (exaggeration much), just to get a feel of things. If I'm still not comfortable I guess I'll just have to look for other options of entertainment. 

Fingers crossed.


October 28, 2014

So I've Been Really Absent & Have Returned With A Vlog As An Apology

I know I should probably apologize for being missing for months but to appease the blogging and vlogging Gods, (and also your pretty much justifiable disappointment) I have here an offering. A weekend vlog; clips of the mundane which for me are as exciting as hell (desperate housewife, much?). And thanks to my voyeuristic tendencies of watching other people's vlogs, I decided to make one of our weekend.

We had a lovely weekend of cold weather, comfy pyjamas and of course lots and lots of food. Ummm, yeeeeaaaah we still have leftovers of the roast chicken and the salted caramel apple crumble. Yikes!

Let me know if you enjoyed watching.

You can subscribe to my YouTube channel here:


p/s: Husband said that this video looks like some single dad type advert. First of all, I was the camerawoman because I pretty much don't trust husband's camera wielding skills. Second, would be that I don't wear the hijab at home (obviously) and wasn't going to wear it on purpose just so that I could be in the video. That would be a whole lot of funny isn't it? Or is it? Hmmmmm....well, lets see what happens next weekend! ;)

July 18, 2014

A Sad Day Indeed

Today is a sad day for humanity. On one hand a civilian aircraft has been intentionally shot down and on the other, people are being exterminated like vermin in the middle East. Obviously I have never posted anything of the political nature just because I feel that I am not qualified to give my opinions on these issues. However, I do wish other people share the same sentiments.

There are just too many ignorant people plastering their thoughts all over the internet. Heck, even our phones are not safe from the onslaught of these "news items". Most of all though I wish that people would stop sharing images of those who have perished. It's not only disrespectful but it also dehumanises the issues at hand. Surely these people deserve more respect than a number of shares. What's worse is you get some weirdos commenting on those pictures. Have you ever read those comments? Please go and take a look. The comments will most definitely make your blood boil.

So in spirit of being a conscientious human being; please stop sharing sensitive materials and more importantly please keep your backward and uninformed opinions to yourself.

As for myself, I have a weekend of spring cleaning my Facebook account. I don't need Facebook-induced high blood pressure.

Sekian, terima kasih.

*Posted from my Nexus 7

July 16, 2014

How We Celebrated The Big '1'

Every Wednesday there is a Bounce & Rhyme session at the Govanhill Library for babies from 0-2 years old. I have been taking Z for these session for almost half a year already (if I'm not mistaken). It's just a fun and chilled out time for Mums and their babies to sing silly nursery rhymes and to of course make new friends. And as a stay at home Mama, it is really nice to speak to other adults! Hah!

Since Z's birthday fell on a Wednesday. I thought why not just do a small celebration at the library. It'll be great to have a few people sing 'Happy Birthday' as opposed to just husband and I. A bit sad, no? The other reason was also the fact that it was Ramadan and we were not able to have a lunch/dinner to celebrate.

And it all worked out pretty well if you ask me. Z has always loved going to the library and meeting her lil baby friends. It became a really fun thing in the end. After that however, we headed up to the children's hospital to give them cakes. It's a shame though that I absolutely forgot to take a photo of Z and the midwives/nurses.

It was completely overwhelming for husband and I to be back there one year later. Even the day was the same as it was a year ago. That same hot weather. The same road. And the same nurses. We were doing all we could to not cry.

We know that we have been incredibly lucky that we've been blessed with a happy and active child. Although her not sleeping does get me frustrated, I love this kid so damn much! Haha. On the eve of her birthday we did a special thank you prayer and on the day itself we did one again. But it was just me and husband.

If we were back in Malaysia we would have probably celebrated it with more friends and family but oh well, when we get the chance we'll do a really nice one with all the important people. ;)

And now, it is time for me to say my Terawih prayers. Happy Sahoor, y'all!


July 9, 2014

12 Months Is Also A Year

Smash cake OOTD
Shorts: Zara

Dress: Thrifted
Shoes: Zara

Crown: Handmade by Mama
(Oh yeah, I spent hours sewing that bad boy! This is as crafty as I get I'm afraid. LOL)

Alhamdulillah, my little Z is not so little anymore. She is already a year old and definitely stepping into toddlerhood! Oh yeah, we can see the beginnings of tantrums and anger. Not great news for us, that's for sure! *stress*

At 12 months Z has 4 teeth; two top, two bottom. She can almost say 'Daddy' right but it seems as though she has forgotten how to say 'Mama'. Pfffft. She is absolutely fixated with all our gadgets; be it remote controls, phones, handphones, laptops or tablets. If she sees one just lying around minding it's own business, she will crawl super fast to get to it ignoring all her toys. And once she gets it of course she pops it in her mouth. -.-

For some strange reason her fascination with the carpet is still there. Z still pulls at it and occasionally tries to chew it. *shakes head* Z's hair has already grown and she no longer has a bald spot *high five*. And most of the time she doesn't actually mind wearing a hairband or even a beret. Putting it on however, is a whole different story.

What else....? Z can wave bye and she also has started clapping. She giggles the loudest when I clap her hands for her. It is basically almost impossible getting her to sit still on the changing table (or anywhere else for that matter). Most of the times she's trying to escape as if her life depends on it! And also, she has started throwing things. Doesn't matter what it is, if she is bored/angry/annoyed/or just feeling like it, she will throw it. She has already chucked my phone and my tablet just because she can! Pfffft!

I tried to do a smash cake with Z (totally influenced by Pinterest) and it failed spectacularly because we found out that Z didn't like being messy. She would try to pick at the sprinkles that got to her legs and shake of the icing that got to her hand. So a classic case of 'Expectation vs. Reality' fail.

Another reason to be grateful (and also a wee bit proud) is the fact that Z has been fully breastfed up to date! Alhamdulillah. I think I will be making a vlog on this, so stay tuned for that. I'm not sure when, but Insyaallah there will be one. ;)

We currently are experiencing a few hits and misses with her sleeping all night. Sometimes things are fantastic, although most times I am inches away from wanting to yank my hair out! Although, her routine has gone through some massive changes since Ramadan has started. So that could be a factor too.

All in all, it has been one crazy, hell of a year. When Z was born, we really couldn't imagine reaching this stage. At that time all we were focused on was for Z to get better and out of the NICU. Then out of the ward into private rooming. And from there going home. Once we reached home, we just took it a month at a time; but still always cautious and always praying that nothing bad happens. If you're new to the blog and are wondering what the hell I'm talking about, please click on the gastroschisis link above. Thank you!

Z is such a happy, active, healthy, giggly, chatty baby; we just can't imagine our life without her in it.

May you always brighten up our lives, Z. 

Mama and Daddy love you to the moon and back, sweetheart. And then some more.

Happy First Birthday, my cuddle monster!


3 Years & Counting

It's been three years since husband and I got married...

Sometimes it feels like we've been married for 3 days and other times 30 years.

We openly talk about our bodily functions; i.e. burps, farts, poop, pee (I blame Zia for this because we are always checking on her poop!!)

Sometimes all we want to do is strangle each other and other times we want to give each other tight hugs.

This is basically what it feel like being married for three years. Don't be fooled, because it really isn't all rainbows and butterflies all the time but I can honestly say that what we have just works for us. I can only pray that our bond keeps getting stronger with time, Insyaallah. And all the poop and pee talks get less!! *fingers crossed* LOL

Happy Anniversary, Mr Husband. Love you.


June 30, 2014

20 Hours In & Defeated

Ramadan Mubarak y'all!!

How's everyone's fasting going? In the lovely UK we are fasting for a grand total of 20 hours. Sounds fun, innit? Well, no. Not really. To be honest it's the second day of Ramadan and I have already waved my white flag of defeat. Yesterday I started having a headache at 2ish in the afternoon which just got increasingly worse as the day got on. By the time we got to actually breaking our fast, I had a full blown migraine. The worst bit was actually after saying my Maghreb prayers, I started feeling so sick that I vomited everything that I had for Iftar. And even that was not much. I couldn't eat anything, and was just so so nauseated the whole time. Also nooooo, I'm definitely not pregnant you nosy lot!! 😮

I only managed to eat a dry toast with cheese before saying my Isya prayers and promptly went to sleep after swallowing two Paracetamol tablets. Which brings us to today, I am not fasting. I know, I know...I'm a total and full on weakling but really though it's tough. Not only is it fasting long hours, I am also still nursing Z. And between the time where fasting begins (usually at 3am) to when it ends (around 10.15 pm) I would breastfeed Z about four times. And the routine we have going is that each time she nurses it's a proper feed. I don't actually let Z use the nip as a soother, so each feed she'll almost empty out both breasts.

Now I know some Moms can do it all while fasting but for me it's a real challenge. Especially considering the fact that I always feel ridiculously hungry after each feed. And to make sure that Z has enough milk, I have to make sure that I eat proper meals and drink lots of fluids. Hence why I am still walking around with all the baby weight. If I do portion control or skip a meal, I can actually feel my breast not filling up enough. The end result would be Z biting me because there just isn't enough milk. Pfffffttt.

So that is it for today, although tomorrow I will be trying to fast again. Maybe if I do alternate days it wouldn't be as hard on my body. I know that nursing moms are exempted from fasting but 29/30 days to replace later on is still a whole lot. So I'll try my best to fast as many days as I can during Ramadan, just so that I can also be part of all the barakah that Allah s.w.t. showers upon his people on this time.

I can only pray that it all becomes easier for me as the time goes by, Insyaallah.


Posted from my Nexus 7

June 26, 2014

Z's Second Visit To The Dentist


Yeap, the picture above is basically how the entire thing went. The dentist tried to look into Z’s mouth but Z obviously clamped her mouth shut harder. And then started to cry. It was only towards the end while I held her and let her play with the tiny mirror thing that the dentist managed to get a glimpse of Z’s teeth.
I have to say that I don’t actually like the lady who is Z’s dentist. Usually in this practice they have two dentists and my dentist is different from Z (we go to the same practice because it’s just easier that way). One of the reasons that I don’t like her would be that she just kept repeating herself on sugar and how we shouldn’t give Z any. I was just like, ‘OMGeeeee, I got it the first time.Thank you!’. The second and biggest reason would be that she was oh-so-confidently telling us that teething does not hurt. I wanted to punch her face so badly when she said that! After having Z screaming her lungs out for no other reason than being in pain in the middle of the night(s), having fever and being grumpy for Lord knows how many days and weeks, she was telling us that it doesn’t hurt. I should’ve punched her teeth out and ask her to tell if it hurts or not; why yes, I do become extremely violent when I’m a sleep deprived zombie. You have no idea how many people I’ve wanted to punch these last few weeks (!!). I don’t take to stupidity kindly when I am out of my mind tired. Ppfffftttt.
Aaaaanyways, Z’s next appointment is in 3 months and by then she would have had sugar and I am pretty much okay with that. I mean it’s her birthday in two weeks, how is it possible for me to not give her cake. Right? Riiiiiiiiggghhht? But other than that, business as usual I suppose; no added sugars.
Okay guys, this zombie mama needs her beauty sleep. Talk to you soon, I hope.

June 24, 2014

Been Away For Far Too Long

Helloo, hellooooo! I am back *dusts blog*

I know, I haven’t updated in weeks, no vlogs, no posts…nothing. What was supposed to be two weeks of fun trips, turned into one huge nightmare of Z being sick. Z had a high temperature for three days and when the fever finally broke, she had a nasty cold. And to top of the nightmare, I was sick along with Z. So husband who was already bogged down with deadlines, had to do double duty. We even had to forgo out Father’s Day celebration which I feel pretty rotten about.

And then we went off to London because we had to register Z with the Malaysian council before her first birthday and also to get her passport done. We came back on Saturday evening and found woodlice on the floor of Z’s room. So yeah, it really has been one thing after another these past few weeks and I am shattered!

So here I am hoping to make a come back but we’ll see. To be honest, I am pretty torn up on keeping the blog alive at all. Most of the times, especially recently I feel like just deleting everything and being done with it. I don’t know…this might just be an over reaction to all the exhaustion but we’ll see, I suppose.

Anyways, I think I heard Z cry so it’s back to Mama-duty for me.

Talk to you soon, I hope.


June 12, 2014

Oh Man I Did Some Shopping!

Hey guys, I am really running late with my monthly posts on Z's development. Z has been down with fever (still is) and it is really taking all my energy to stay on top of things (even the simple stuff). Hopefully I'll get to it soon.

As promised here's another video and it's my favourite kind to watch on YouTube; a haul video. Again I shall repeat myself like a parrot and say that I am not showing off. I buy things for Z when there are promos and sales (trust me, my inbox is basically full of newsletters so that I can keep track on offers!!). And also, on account that I don't shop for myself that money also goes into Z's clothes & toys fund.

Alright, that's it for this time. It's definitely time for this tired Mama to get some rest.


June 9, 2014

11 Months & A Fever


Z is 11 months today and at 11 months she can:

- is 8.32kgs (18 lb 5 1/2 ounces)
- crawl really fast
- stand and couch cruise
- says Mama (although this happens mostly when I’m half asleep and no where near prepared to actually take a video of her saying it!!)
- loves giving kisses by smashing her face into mine
- sleeps a bit better but still not sleeping through the night (woe is me!)
- knows when I’m scolding her and starts to pretend cry reeeaaaallyyyy loudly (Drama Queen!!)
- has two tooth (teeth?) on the bottom gums
- is properly sick; high fever and all :(
- is a massively overly-attached-baby. It gets pretty bad at nights that even Daddy doesn’t cut it and all she wants is Mama

To be completely honest, teething has been nothing short of a nightmare. I know I go on and on about how bad it is, but trust me when I say it has been reeeaaaal bad. If only we could do something to make it all better, poor babies. Also sorry for the straight to the point format, Z is sick and I am exhausted (bordering on sick a too). I just had to made sure that this post is up.

Anyways, since Z is asleep I better go catch some Z’s before she wakes up and it’s Mama-duty for me.

Talk to you soon, I hope.


EDIT: I wrote this post earlier but with everything going on I forgot to post it. Bad Farah. Aaaaaaanyways, I adjusted the posting date just so that it is consistent with all of Z's other developmental posts. ;)

June 5, 2014

The Goodbye Between Meredith And Christina on Greys Anatomy

I know I am a couple of weeks late but ever since I watched the finale episode for season 10 of Grey’s Anatomy, I can’t stop thinking about it. It reminded me of the early Christina+Meredith days and why I fell in love with the series in the first place. And to be honest, I can’t think of a more perfect ending even if I tried. Initially I was afraid that they might go on another killing spree and to be honest I can’t handle that. For once, it was a light hearted ending with no one dying or losing limbs. Heck even this happy(ish) ending I cried like a baby! Especially the bit where Christina tells Meredith that she is important too, that really struck a chord within me.

Husband has been doing his PhD research going on almost two years now and in this two years I sometimes find that I am losing myself (does this make any sense?). Yes I know his research is important, thus I have been doing everything that I can to make his journey as smooth as possible. But in all that, this has got me thinking about my importance. I know my husband is smart, but I am pretty awesome myself. And I have to start treating myself that way. I feel like I can’t be putting my (whatever) dreams and hopes on the back burner anymore, regardless if that means I won’t be resting as much or maybe even helping husband as much. I need to think about myself and give my dreams the due credit that it deserves.

I was working on writing a little something-something before I got pregnant. When I got pregnant I experienced the world’s biggest writers block and completely stopped writing. Now after almost 18 months, I have reopened the document and I can only just hope that I can one day complete it. Even if nobody sees it, I feel that I really should finish it just because it was, is and will always be my dream to be a writer.

So now, here’s to hoping that dreams really do come through, Insyaallah.


June 4, 2014

Let's Talk Stranger Danger

Hey guys, everything feels like a whirlwind...One second it was my birthday and my first vlog was up and the next second; well my second vlog is up! First of all I would like to thank my (currently) one and only subscriber, husband; for well, subscribing to my channel. Thanks, love. ;) It was honestly more than anything I expected (even if I did threaten to manhandle him if he didn't subscribe! LOL).

Anyways, this vlog is about stranger danger and how I react to it. I sometimes feel that people overstep boundaries that makes me, as a parent really uncomfortable. And most of the times I have no clue how to deal with it. 

Do let me know how you find today's vlog and the topic that I talked about. Also, how do you tackle stranger danger? It would be great to know your perspective on this too!

If you want more of me *shy smile* you can follow me on Twitter (@farahanw) and Instagram (@farahanw).

Hope to hear from you soon!


May 28, 2014

28 On The 28

Hi guys! I'm back after unintentionally disappearing again. Z started teething and that was the end of normal-everyday-life as I knew it. Add on a husband who was (and still is) very, very busy so I also got very, very busy picking up husband's share of daddy duties. *sigh* Life with a student, I guess.

For this birthday I have nothing special planned except for the fact that I am jumping into vlogging with both feet without knowing whether I sink or swim. There have been so many failed attempts in the past where I chickened out or got too lazy but this time I've set my mind to it and I'm really doing it. Where this whole vlogging bit takes me remains to be seen though and that thought itself it exciting and rather frightening at the same time. 

There were a whole lot of 'uhmmms', 'aaaaahsss' and 'liiiike' in this video not because I was unprepared but really because I was just terrified!! I hope that slowly I get better and more confident at vlogging (or at least cut down on the 'uhmmmms' and 'aaaaaahs'!). So here it is, my first ever vlog yo! I hope that you enjoy watching it and of course, do like, subscribe and comment. :)

Happy 28th Birthday to me! ;)


May 12, 2014

One Of Those Days

Today has seriously been one of those days. Z woke up really early before 8.30am; as husband was about to throw out the thrash he noticed that the bag had leaked all over the floor and it was extremely smelly; as we were having breakfast Z somehow managed to spill husband’s coffee all over the carpet and herself (of course I was more afraid that she might accidentally swallow it!); when it was time for lunch Z refused most of her food by spraying it out and I was covered in couscous; and finally as Z was trying to poop, she started to scream a bit and cry. All I could do was sit next to her and rub her back, attempting to soothe my pooping child! So I guess the fact that I’ve been regularly giving Z yoghurt to ease her poo’s is just not working (or not helping as much as I thought it would). All I could think of was when is it going to be her nap time and when can I finally put her down to sleep so that I can gather my thoughts. And now that she is finally down for her afternoon nap, my itchy fingers did some shopping for Z at Zara. I actually almost bought some accessories and a scarf for myself, then I saw the total and went ‘aww, hell no’ and just stuck to buying Z’s clothes. This is what motherhood is you guys, you pick baby clothes over your own and you don’t even mind it! *loooove*

Dear husband; I’m pretty sure you’ve already received the notification from PayPal, if you’re reading this: I love you! And also, retail therapy is most definitely the best kind of therapy! Did I mention that I love you so much!! *hides face guiltily*


It’s really exhausting being so fabulous all the time eh, Z? Outfit details are on Instagram @farahanw, kthxbai. How obvious is it that I am just not in the mood? I think I need some chocolates, like right now!

So, time for me to go pray and getting cracking on din-dins for husband and I. Till next time!


EDIT: Not even 15 mins after this post went up that I could hear Z, wide awake and refusing to go back to sleep! *sigh* I basically made dinner while carrying Z. Yeah, it’s one of those days.

May 9, 2014

It's Already 10 Months





Today Z is 10 months; and it’s kinda amazing how much she has grown in the last one month! She now has two ruddy little teeth (which she uses to bite me!) on her lower gums; she has started standing and ‘couch cruising’; she is obsessed with all the remotes we have for our TV system; she has started crawling properly and is super fast; she is also obsessed with my phone (which is almost always covered in saliva nowadays); she also eats better now, Alhamdulillah. I have introduced chicken into her diet and it seems like she is taking it extremely well, the next meat to be introduced into her diet would probably be beef. Since we don’t really eat much fish, and apparently salmon isn’t recommended for babies under 12 months, fish is more like a treat. We feed Z fish only when we have it for dinner. How exclusive! LOL

Z has also had a taste of peanut butter, thanks to her Daddy, and I am beyond grateful that she doesn’t have any allergies to it! Ooooh…chocolate! I tried giving her the Heinz Chocolate Pudding and Z loves it. So now for dessert (yes, my baby has dessert after lunch and dinner *flips hair….eh no wait, flips hijab*) we alternate between yoghurt, Heinz Chocolate Pudding and Heinz Rice Pudding. Her lunch and dinner is homemade by me which is usually pasta sauce or something along those lines served with couscous. Which basically means Z has solids for breakfast, lunch and dinner and in between these times she gets mi-milk (breastmilk) as a snack before her naps. This means, Z is still exclusively on breastmilk.

What else? Hmmm…personality wise we have started seeing Z throw tantrums and whine when she doesn’t get something that she wants. Generally she is quite a quiet child unless she gets cranky or when we are trying to put her down for a nap. Then it’s all ‘babababababa’, ‘dadadadadada’, ‘tatatatatatata’ and the likes. In my mind she’s complaining about having to nap! I bet if she could she would party all day and of course party all night too! Which brings us to the next thing which is she is STILL not sleeping through the night. And to make matters a bit more difficult, she is neck-deep in the clingy baby phase. Not fun you guys, not fun at all. Especially when you really need to use the loo!

 She is growing so fast though, that everyday she looks a bit different. In two months she’ll be one year old! How crazy is that?

Happy 10 months, sunshine

May 7, 2014

Call Me, May-be

Hello, hello guys…I’ve finally emerged from my little hermit shell to grace you with my presence. Actually it’s more like Z is asleep and the laptop is right in my face and I really should update my poor little blog. The last update was in April and since then, husband went off to Toronto, Canada for a conference. It was one helluva week for me and Z back here. I didn’t update about it because I was afraid that random people might track me over the internet and break into my house! Yeah, I was actually really worried about random people breaking into my house and stealing stuff; all the time! I would be checking my locks over and over again because I was that afraid. And when I was about to go out/come back home, I would try to peep into my house while passing in front of it; just to check for movements. I swear, it was the influence of all those ‘stop doorstep crime’ ads that freaked me the hell out!

Also I have to say, hooray for my birth month! It’s the month of guilting husband into doing things for me and also indulging myself with tiny bits of gifts. Let us please, for the love of God, not talk about indulging in food. I’ve got hips that don’t lie about the quantity of Ben&Jerry that I consume. It’s so bad; but yet so damn good! In the week that husband was away for his conference I finished an entire tub of B&J; on my own. It was the new greek yoghurt one (well at least it’s new here) and I of course believe that it’s great for my digestive system. Hey, don’t judge; it says yoghurt! Diet? Who dat?

I think this will have to do for a quick update for le blog. Fingers crossed that there will be more soon! :)


April 21, 2014

Saturday At The Park










HUZZAH! Finally, we are having some lovely bouts of sunshine in Glasgow! Sounds kinda crazy on how happy I actually am being out and about underneath the glorious, glorious sunshine. And of course, like everyone else, we made having a picnic a highlight of our weekend at the Pollok Country Park. Unfortunately though Z started getting cranky while walking to our picnic spot because the poor thing was both hungry and sleepy and didn’t want either milk or to sleep. You wouldn’t guess that she was cranky and fussy from the photos, am I right?

Also I realised that nowadays most of the photos that I am in; I am either about to feed Z, am breastfeeding Z or done breastfeeding her. Whuuut? Call me MooMoo!

Anyways, I don’t really feel like typing too much so there you go, Moody Mama is signing out!


April 18, 2014

All Kinds Of Crazy Town!

Put a teething baby and a menstruating Mama together and what you'll get is one heck of a week (which still hasn't ended). Z started teething when she was around six months or so, which means that there were times when she would just be in the most rotten of moods. This time, what I noticed was that her body temperature started going up and all she wanted to was sleep. Well, be cuddled while she slept is more exact when finally we got a glimpse of that little bugger sprouting from her bottom gum. That darn tooth that is still shying away from being a proper tooth and torturing all three of us in the process.

And as luck would have it, I got my period at the same time and it was all downhill from there. This is my second cycle after 17 months and good God I've forgotten how terrible the pain and the mood swings used to be.  I had such bad cramps that all I wanted to do was sleep because I couldn't bear standing because I was in that much pain. Right now the pain has gone but the mood swings are still running rampant and of course it all comes out on poor husband! Seriously though, the mood swings this time are so so bad I've pretty much been alternating between anger and crying for no apparent reason. The only two people that are keeping me sane through this thing are Ben&Jerry. I love you guys, thank you for existing! *tears*

In other words, it's been all sorts of crazy town over here!


April 9, 2014

A 9 Month Old Clam!

If I had to use photos to describe Z’s personality at 9 months, without any doubt it would be this first photo. Feet dangling from the slots of her crib and yet, happy as a clam! 







Z now weighs 7.62 kg at 9 months, she can very slowly crawl forward, attempts to stand up (usually using my knees as support), and is just a little moving machine! She still does not sleep through the night (woe is me!) and wakes up a minimum of twice a night which is not too bad considering sometimes it can be a whole lot worse. She recognises us; her Mama and Daddy and can look for us if we ask, “Where is Daddy/Mama?". She loves playing hide and seek, especially in bed in the mornings. She now knows how to scrunch up her face and tilt her head to the side when she wants to be loving (which is so ridiculously adorable!) but somehow, she has gotten people shy. Before she used to smile openly at anyone and everyone but now, not so much. She doesn’t mind strangers looking at her or saying hello but she doesn’t smile back; it’s just a blank stare back at them.

Still, no sign of ‘em teeth though! She alternates between being a happy baby and a cranky, drooling baby thanks to those darn teeth. Oh, and we have also started using the big bathtub for Z’s baths. She absolutely loves it! She splishes and splashes and sometimes she even tries to eat the bubbles! The not so great part about it is that she loves the bath so much that she cries when I take her out to dress her up. And that’s when you get to hear all sorts of nursery rhymes from the resident entertainer i.e. Mama!

 Z is still a fully breastfed baby at 9 months. And while feeding that is the time when I’ll usually tell her that I love her and we’ll share kisses and cuddles afterwards. She has also gotten better at giving ‘kisses’ which is more of her smashing her face/mouth to my face! I have to say though that his girl is quite rough. Her kicks are really painful and she just lunges face forward towards us. Sitting in her crib, a place that’s supposed to be relative safe, she has hit both her face and head at separate times. The worst bit, she even pinches my nips which really gets on my nerves because 1. it hurts and 2. IT REALLY HURTS!

She hasn’t gotten discharged yet from the children’s hospital but when we went for her follow up checkup, Z’s surgeon was really pleased with the way everything was. He was happy with her weight, the way her scar looks and the general way that Z was. We have another checkup in a years time and of course we will keep praying for everything to continue progressing the way it has been; wonderfully!

Happy 9 Months, bubba!

April 8, 2014

Of Zia and Allison

Today we went to the Baby Matters clinic in our area and by chance the nurse today was Allison. Now unfortunately I don't know Allison's full name but I do know this; she is the kindest and loveliest person I've met in this whole journey of being a new Mama to a baby that had gastroschisis.

When Z first came home with us, Allison would visit us every week to weigh Z and just keep track of how things are going. This basically meant that she had to lug a weighing machine up one floor to our flat. She also constantly reassured us that we were doing well and Z was doing beautifully. And as a new Mama, she gave me heaps of confidence when it came to my judgement and decisions.

It was wonderful to see her again today after months as Z didn't need to be monitored so closely. We usually go to the Baby Matters clinic right before Z's monthly birthday and it's not always the same staff.

So today, Z was given some extra lovin' from Allison and she soaked it up like a sponge! And I have to admit, I loved seeing Allison doting on my girl. It's just...something else that feeling. 😘

If only Z's grandparents, uncles, and aunts were nearby to dote on her too. *sigh*


April 7, 2014

Of Zippers, Chubby Cheeks and Swings





It was a perfectly lovely Sunday; bright blue skies, wonderful warm sunshine and a guilty as hell Mama. Z looks all smiles in these photos but 20 minutes before this, she was crying her heart out. I had been wanting to take her to the park for her first time on a swing in ages. Unfortunately it was either cloudy, rainy or extremely windy. So, Sunday was perfect.

As I put Z in her clothes and zipped up her jacket, she started whining, and whimpering. I just ignored it thinking that she was just being fussy and got on with getting ready myself. A few minutes later as I unzipped her jacket she let out a looooong wail and started crying. It was the full works; red faced, tears from her eyes, and snot dribbling down from her nose. I couldn’t figure out what happened until I had a lightbulb moment and checked her neck, you know, that bit of body underneath the rolls of fat. And that’s when I realised that I had accidentally zipped up a teeny tiny bit of her skin while dressing her up. Her chubby cheeks and double chin had blocked my view and I felt horrible. Absolutely horrible.

I know it was an accident and I am sort of over it. The thing that bugged me (and still is bugging me) is the fact that it didn’t click in my mind that something was wrong. And I just thought she was being fussy, as she is every time she has to wear a coat/jacket. That, is where my guilt is from. I was so angry with that jacket that I was telling husband that I felt like burning it! And of course husband replied with, “I think you’re watching waaaaay to many dramas on TV!” and that was that. The bit of skin has become a scab and I of course make sure that I remember to put cream on it so that it’ll heal fast.

As for playing on the swings, it was perfection! She loved it and I loved seeing her so happy. Her face lighting up whenever she would swing towards me. I’ve even got a video of it but I was making weird kissy noises to make Z laugh so yeah, not gona post it here! Haha. Of course being the curious cat that she is, she loved looking at people and other babies/children in the park. Before she used to smile freely at everyone, now though it’s not so much. I don’t know if this means that Z is becoming people shy or just that her smile is expensive yo! LOL.

And that was our imperfectly perfect Sunday afternoon, spent on the swings and under the wonderful sunshine. Spring is here you guys! ;)

March 25, 2014

Outgrowing Coats





At 8+months, Z has finally finally outgrown of her size 3-6months winter coat. I bought the coat from Zara when she was still an itty bitty baby in a moment of pure and sheer madness! It was the new fall line on display at Zara and I was pretty much delirious due to all those sleepless nights (not that much has changed! Pffft!!) and paid for it, in full price. Now normally, I never shop at full price and it’s something that I am pretty proud of actually. I don’t mind using hand-me-downs, which most of Z’s earlier clothes were, and of course, I always wait for sales. But that day, madness struck and I bought this beautiful coat for my itty bitty baby. There really is no fault in the coat other than the fact that you can’t machine wash it; it needed to be dry cleaned, something I didn’t notice when I was making my naughty little purchase. Not a great idea when babies do spit up which of course happened a lot. Fabreeze was my best friend during all those little mishaps!

But now that Z has grown out of it, I am at a loss of what to do with this beauty. A few nights ago, when the whole house was still (husband and baby, both asleep) I was removing bits of fuzz from the coat, preparing to get it dry cleaned before I hung it up for good that I got kind of emotional about it. It was Z’s first coat; the one I bought and waited for in anticipation of when she would finally fit into it. My mom was with me when I bought it and I remember her telling me to send her photos when Z finally wears the coat. It seems as though, all of a sudden Z is just growing up way to fast and slowly, the number of ‘firsts’ are dwindling. And if you were wondering, I flooded my dad’s email with photos of Z that first outing while wearing this jacket.

Now normally, when it comes to things like clothes I’m not really sentimental. It’s just material things; so no big deal, right? Husband is completely the opposite. Like right now, Z has outgrown of most of her clothes up to size 6months. If you ask me, the ones that are faded or stained should be either donated or binned. And the nice ones can be kept but packed away. But husband, he wants to keep it all. His reasoning; we can use it for the next baby. And I’m just like, ‘Say what now?’. What if our next baby is a winter baby? Z was born in the summer obviously all her clothes are bought according to season. And bigger yet; what if the next baby is a boy?

So right now, I’m not sure what to do. Should I put it up for sale, where another mama can create memories with her baby girl? Or should I just selfishly keep this beautiful coat hanging in a dark closet? Although the thought of letting it go makes me extremely emotional, I did pay a pretty penny for it. Urgh I hate this so much but I’m so grateful that Z is growing so well and thriving.

Fellow mamas, what do you think?


March 21, 2014

Sleep Training Is Not For Wussies

Urgh how do I start this? Most people would be wondering, what the heck am I talking about? Why would I need to sleep train my baby when clearly, I am a stay at home Mama and don’t need to go to work? Why do I need to sleep train my baby, when I can as easily take a nap while my baby is napping. WRONG. SO MUCH WRONG!

At 8 months old, Z naps twice a days in 1.5 hours blocks. Although this timing is not set in stone as sometimes in one blocks she sleeps longer and the next its much shorter. And while she naps, that is my only window to get some of the following done: preparing lunch for myself, cooking dinner for husband and I, preparing Z’s lunch+dinner, cleaning the kitchen, sorting+folding+putting away laundry, light cleaning of the house, showering. It sounds massive when you have a tight deadline of just 1.5hours. When Z is awake my full attention is on her. As she is currently mobile (hey, moving backwards is still moving in my books) I keep a close eye on where she moves and what she shoves into her mouth. I also play with her as much as I can before she gets sleepy or starts whining for milk. This ‘shift’ of mine ends of course when husband gets home. He keeps Z company while I set the table (or do last minute prep) for dinner.

Once Z is done with her dinner, she gets a bath from either husband or me and we get her ready for bed. She will usually take a last feed between 8.30-9.00pm before husband takes her into the bedroom to read a story and then rock her to sleep. If she wakes up before 11.30pm, husband would be the one who will put her back to sleep but after 11.30pm; Mama is back on booby-duty. On good days she would wake up twice, on bad nights it’s almost every two hours. On really bad nights, she would be awake and crying from 1+a.m. to about 4a.m. in the morning and then wake up again at 5/6 a.m. for milk with some crying on the side. She then wakes up for the day between 8.30-9.30a.m. (sometimes even earlier).

Without a doubt, I love my Z. And would do anything to make her happy. But before I became a Mama, I was also me; and as selfish as it sounds: I love me too. The long nights and patchy sleep are not doing me any good. And of course, I want to be the best Mama I can be for Z and for that, I really needed sleep! A good, solid, 6 hour stretch would be heavenly! Okay, okay…I need the sleep to be a good wife too! (Just so that husband doesn’t feel left out! ;))

Recently, when Z hit the 8 month mark I decided that it was time to start sleep training. Properly. No doing things half-heartedly and chickening out because Z was crying. And on top of it all, my boobs needed a rest you guys! So I decided that because we weren’t fans of Z crying we were going to try out the ‘no tears method’. It’s where when your baby starts crying you pick her up, calm her down and while she’s awake you put her back down on the bed and pat her to sleep. If she cries again, just repeat what you did earlier; pick up, soothe, put baby down awake and pat until she goes to sleep. You do this for the first three days. The next three days would be to soothe your baby without picking her up. The following three days would be to just pat your baby. It basically goes on until your baby has learnt to self soothe and is able to fall asleep on her own without needing to wake up the parents. This method is greatly recommended when you are co-sleeping with your child or in other words ‘attachment parenting’. In our case, we’re not exactly co-sleeping with Z but her crib is right next to our bed so I can just roll over to check on her. I would like to thing of it as almost co-sleeping! Haha! Of course, whatever method you are using to sleep train your child, it is important to ensure that your little is only crying because of sleep training and not anything else.

The first night was pretty rough, I had Z cuddled next to me and was tapping and shushing her. And she was crying away. Somewhere in the middle of the night husband couldn’t take it anymore and said to just give Z milk. I was adamant, I refused and continued on with the sleep training and after a while, she fell asleep. The second night was almost the same, Z was cuddling but spent less time crying as she was busily sucking on her thumb to self soothe. Now, the third night was when I caved. I could see and hear Z sucking on her thumb noisily for over an hour. With her eyes wide open, just looking at me wonderingly; as if asking ‘Why is Mama not giving me milk? Did I do something wrong?’. And my resolve crumbled. Harder and faster than a house made of cards.

And just like that, I popped my boob out and Z latched within seconds. I could hear her gulping milk down noisily.

I, my friends, am a big, fat, wuss.

So for now, this is sleep training Attempt 1. When Z is 9 months old, we’re going to try tackling sleep training all over again unless Z miraculously starts sleeping through the night on her own. *I wish!!*


March 20, 2014

Husbands Say The Darndest Things!

1. A few days ago, husband woke up and excitedly exclaimed:

“Honey, Zia slept through the night last night!"

I just looked at him and said to him, ‘Awww how cute. You think Zia slept through the night. She woke up at 12am and 4am for her feed.” Apparently husband didn’t hear Zia waking up (obviously, because it was boob to the rescue as soon as I heard her whimper) and thought that she had slept through the night. How cute right? *insert sarcasm here*

2. After a particularly rough night with Z and very minimal sleep on my part, husband looked at the both of us and exclaimed:

“Zia, do you want a brother or sister? I think you want a little brother right?”

Husband looked at me with a big goofy smile. I think NOT. Nope. Not. Nahi. Tidak. NO.

3. Recently husband got into cycling and as a reward to himself, I told him that he could get an entry level Trek bicycle for himself.

“Honey, I feel like Lance Armstrong!"

If you didn’t know while Armstrong was riding competitively, he was using a Trek bicycle. And of course, that same bike has become husbands dream bike!

4. While eating dinner one night:

‘Honey, I feel like my thighs are so muscular. My pants are so tight around my thighs; like the Hulk!"

Erm, okay sayang!


Okay, so this is it for today’s edition of ‘Husbands Say The Darndest Things’! Seriously though, some of the things that he says I just can’t even comprehend where the heck it’s coming from!

I love you, you silly but also kinda brilliant man.

March 9, 2014

I'm Sorry But Did You Say '8'??

I can hardly believe that my lil bub is already 8 months old! Time is surely just whizzing past us, that’s for sure.







At 8 months Z can: crawl backwards, is a babble monster, still teething with no sign of teeth yet, screaming at the highest of pitches, and loves sucking on her thumb! She can also sit for a longer time and play hide and seek. But good God, the most prominent thing is that she is so so curious! She wants to touch, look and be part of anything and everything. And if she doesn’t get her way, you’re in for a world of screams. Soon, when she starts crawling forward, I’m pretty sure she’s going to get into everything as well. So right now, my job is researching on the best ways to baby proof our home. Although I have a feeling I’ll be the one having the difficulties opening all those baby locks! Yikes!

Back to Z’s progress; she is also finally started accepting more solids. Although sometimes we do have tears and what nots but it’s getting better. ;) However, she is still not sleeping through the night and that is sort of taking its toll on me.

At 8 months, Z is still on breastmilk and weighs at 7.27kg right now. This basically means that Z is a perfectly average sized baby even though at 8 months she is still wearing clothes meant for 3-6months old babies.

Daddy is, of course, her favourite playmate and they have so much fun together. The laughter and squeals when she plays with daddy pales in comparison when she plays with me! Sadness!

We have one more appointment with Z’s gastroshisis specialist at the end of this month and we’re of course hoping that everything is good and well and that she gets officially discharged from the children’s hospital.

I love you, my babble monster!



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