January 9, 2014

Turning 6 Months Old

Happy half birthday, Z!!!

Today you are officially 6 months old. Good God, has time just flown by.

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Okay now, at 6 months Z can: roll from the belly to her back, half roll from back to belly (it gets stuck somewhere in between), click her tongue (she loves doing that and mimics us as well), screams (like proper ear piercing screams) when she’s happy, excited and calling for attention, she can also sit up for a few seconds unassisted, she grabs things (even my glasses) which goes directly into her mouth and babbles almost nonstop! She does sometimes babble ‘ma-ma’ but husband thinks that it’s just her babbling and that there really is no meaning attached to it yet. Me, I think...oh yeah, she’s totally calling me! LOL. Now, let’s get cracking on to the crawling shall we, Z?

We should be starting her on solid foods soon but we just have to double confirm with the health visitor because of her prematurity. Although, husband is super excited about feeding Z solids! Me on the other hand, not really over the moon based on the fact that now Z’s poop is going to be massively stinky! Ppppffffftttt! On another note, I’ve survived 6 months of feeding Z exclusively with breastmilk, Alhamdulillah! It was a real challenge and still is to be honest. It isn’t fun when you’re constantly waking up through the night to feed your baby, but really though the results are so satisfying. *pats self on the back* Now, lets try to make it up to one year, shall we? ;)

Happy 6 months my baby girl, Mama and Daddy love you heaps! May Allah S.W.T. keeps you safe, sound, healthy, my beautiful girl.

♥♥♥

January 8, 2014

Living With Gastroschisis: The Poopy Truth

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More often than not when Z is laughing and screaming her lungs out, I forget that Z was born not only premature but also with gastroschisis. Everything about her is so normal, so at par with a normal baby’s development that for me she is normal. But then something happens and the fact that she had gastroschisis comes crashing down on me, like someone dropped a bucket of ice cold water down my back. It may seem stupid but as it is, first time parents worry a whole lot about everything, add a medical condition and its perpetual worry; at least that’s what it is in my case.

A few days ago Z’s poop was green the whenever she pooped. And of course I started worrying. At the last check up with the specialist, he told us that if Z’s vomit was green we were to immediately rush her to the hospital. Now, I know that he said vomit only. But somehow just because her poop was green, alarm bells were going off like crazy in my mind. I couldn’t sleep until 3am. By that time, I had had enough. I googled for it and read up on several sites including Web MD which finally put me at ease. Since Z is an exclusively breastfed baby, it’s normal for her poop to be green and that color changes just mean that there is more or less of the yellow/green/brown/orange pigments that are picked up along the way in the digestive track (source).

I know, not everything is related to the fact that Z had gastroschisis. But the fact that Z’s bowels were hanging on the outside of her body when she was born will probably be lounging around in the back of my mind, being all chilled out now but poised to attack the next time that I begin to worry. It has come to this stage that husband and I exchange, on a daily basis mind you, the size and the colour of Z’s poops. I know its kinda crazy but that was how Z was monitored in the hospital. That habit has spilled over into our daily parenting and made itself real nice and cosy!

Whenever she had a nappy change, it was weighed for pee and if there was, poop as well. And the nurses and midwives expected us, the parents, to be aware of it as well even though everything was jotted down in Z’s charts. So of course we were aware of her bowel movements. When we left the hospital for the night, I would usually call the ward at around 11pm, before I went to bed, to check on Z and of course I would also ask did she have any more bowel movements. It was so important that everything was working normally because if not it meant there was some problems in the bowels that was inserted back into Z’s belly. And if there was a problem, it would mean surgery and also possibly removal of part of the bowels. Basically nothing good will come out of it.

I remember how some new moms would get annoyed or frustrated with their baby because they poop a lot but in our household we’re happy when Z does a poo. Of course, it’s not the nicest thing to wake up to when it’s 2.30am and you’re weary and just so, so tired. But hey, I just count my blessings that everything is working alright and then proceed to wake husband up for the mid night nappy duties! Hah! That’s what daddies are there for, no?

The only reminder that we have are the photos and that little line on Z’s belly. Due to the bowel being out, Z’s belly button is slightly off centre and to the left; attached to a line which is the incision site. Now that Z is 6 month olds (officially tomorrow, how time flies right?!) the incision is getting smaller and the belly button is slowly centring itself. But we won’t really know if her belly button will ever be centred or not. Oh well, this just means no bikinis for you bubba! And yes, I’m pretty sure Daddy is the happiest about it! Haha!

So, that is how life is six months in, being a gastro-parent. I have to admit though that the hardest parts were probably when Z was in the hospital and the first few weeks when she came home. I was panic central, worrying about every little thing. Now I just trust my instincts and when I freak out, I just do a whole lot of reading up before calling my health visitor like a deranged person! Hah!

Here’s to 6 months Z, and Insyaallah many many more to come! Love, Mama

♥♥♥

January 2, 2014

Being All Retrospective Like For 2014

As it is every year, on the last day of December, I would often attempt to reflect on the year that went by. What have I done? Have I done it enough? Can I be better? Is it always going to be this bad? A lot of questions and a whole lot more of me being stuck on the negatives. This is the second new year where I am a housewife and of course I started looking back at the year. Like last year I started whinging to husband. I was complaining that I have no career, that I don’t seem to be moving forward; I don’t seem to be growing (other than sideways).

All husband said to me was; I made him a Daddy. And he’s damn right! I did make him a Daddy. If anyone else had asked me what I was doing with my life, I would have proudly answered ‘I created life, GODDAMNIT!!’ and be done with it. But when I’m faced with myself I can’t seem to hold my head up high based on just that fact. I feel like there are a hundred and one faults in me and it doesn’t help at all when I feel like my friends are living better lives than me. Some travel alot, some have a great career, some have lost heaps of baby weight, and some have all of the above. So really, it’s pretty much self pity central in this part of Glasgow. But when husband said that I made him a Daddy I knew that maybe for some that doesn’t mean anything but for me it means a helluva lot. We had a baby who had gastroschisis who was born premature. Our baby went through surgery; two weeks in the NICU, three weeks in the baby ward and only then came home. As a couple we survived all that, as a Mama I managed to take control of my emotions and be strong for our little family (even if I did cry due to sleep deprivation *hangs head in shame*).

It’s the second day of the new year and of course there are heaps and heaps of retrospective posts and resolutions post. This is a little bit of both. This year I want to work on myself; I would love to be able to stop comparing myself to others and seeing only my shortcomings. In other words, I really need to get over my self inferiority complex. It’s so easy nowadays to feel like everyone is doing better than yourself. Heck, social media is so accessible that with just two clicks and you can see a photo of someone a few days post pregnancy and skinnier than a twig in winter. Yeah, not great a feeling to see something like that while you’re still Humpty Dumpty six months later!

I have to remember that whatever I see on social media are highlights of peoples life. Which is exactly what I myself do. I mean I don’t think anyone would want to see a picture of me washing  and cleaning raw chicken, right? Am I right? So I have to remember that I am as able bodied as the next person, I can achieve anything I want and my achievement is my family. I am a very proud Mama and wife. And to make sure that my family is proud of me, I have to work on myself. To work on remembering all the good bits in my life when I feel blue and down in the dumps. In theory it sounds really easy to do but practicing it takes a whole of patience and kindness towards yourself. I have to be patient and kind towards myself because I am worth it. Hah I sound like some cosmetic ad!

Other than being kind to myself, I also need to be kind to my body. I desperately need to stop eating all this junk that I’ve been inhaling like air. So there it is, my hopes for a kinder and more beautiful new year; Insyaallah. Oh, oh, oh….and to be a better blogger. *smiles sheepishly* Eheh.

♥♥♥

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